Superboy 1

I thought that with this new site starting, when I visited the comic shop this week I’d buy something kind of at random, and the first issue of Superboy by creators new to me seemed a suitable choice.

I knew nothing about this version of Superboy beyond a vague idea he was artificially created, if it was still the same one. This is correct – he’s made of a Superman/Luthor gene-splice, though this doesn’t tell me how or why. And why he has Krypto (or a superdog called Krypto, at any rate), lives in Superman’s childhood home (with Martha) and so on, I don’t know.

It irritated me from the start. The Phantom Stranger turns up to tell Conner, or more truthfully the reader, that this is an exciting reboot for the character: “You are entering a new phase in your young life, new loves… new friends… but a great darkness also enters your path,” and “the fate of one very close to you hangs in the balance.” I know he’s an enigmatic character who turns up anywhere and says intriguing things, but honestly, if the best he can do is a startlingly formulaic “READ THIS THRILLING NEW SERIES” house ad, the editor should have told Lemire to fucking forget it and come up with a better way to generate some interest.

As well as Ma Kent, Krypto and Smallville, we get an LL love interest, and another kid who’s a mad scientist and knows who he is (conflating Luthor and Pete Ross). Why not just give us Superboy Clark Kent, set 15 years in the past, rather than just repeat it all? But at least it will surely have new, modern, exciting threats, right? Um, actually the Parasite attacks. He starts by attacking a kid, unsuccessfully, then optimistically steps up to Superboy. Now you probably recall that the Parasite works by grabbing his foe and absorbing its life-energy, which is why he is particularly keen on Superman as a target. Except this time the Parasite, who has failed to catch a small boy immediately before so seems rather below par, ambushes Superboy, and knocks him away from him. Then he knocks him further away. I know the Parasite was never depicted as being super-smart, but this is simply sloppy writing and/or art, with no thought for any way to depict a fight than by big punches knocking people through things, even when they are the last tactics that would be used. There’s some more of this pointless hitting, then a bizarre way to defeat the villain that I could make no sense of at all, followed by a last-page appearance of someone who is at least some kind of surprise, albeit not an obviously interesting one. There is also proof that the Kent farm is no more than about 30 seconds’ running time (for a human, not Superboy) from central Smallville. Odd, as it looks much further out than that.

Other than the stupidity of the fight scene, which might not be Gallo’s fault at all, I’ve said nothing about the art. I’m not sure how old Conner is supposed to be (though he is at school), but he has an adult body, not a muscly teenager’s physique by any stretch of the imagination. Also, his hairstyle changes instantly when he takes his shirt off to reveal the big S. I think the shape of his face does too. Perhaps I am being hypnotised by superhypnotism unconsciously focussed through the super-lenses of his glasses. Otherwise it’s hard to know what to say: generic, largely efficient enough, dull. The colouring is bright and mostly basic, but quite attractive.

The superhero comics I’ve read in recent years have almost all been by writers I love – Morrison, Millar, Bendis – with occasional forays to things recommended by friends. I guess this, nonsensical as such a deduction plainly is, had given me the idea that the standard of mainstream comic writing was much higher these days, but this cliched and plain stupid comic, recycling ancient ideas that were pretty secondhand in the first place, has made me rethink that. I was considering buying something on spec in this way to review every week, but this is now looking a rather less appealing notion.