Archie 616 & 617

Reviewed by 28-Apr-11

Alex Simmons is in the wrong job. Judging from the evidence in these two issues, he could make a lot of money as a spin doctor for America’s Republican Party.

REHABILITATING SARAH PALIN

Alex Simmons is in the wrong job. Judging from the evidence in these two issues, he could make a lot of money as a spin doctor for America’s Republican Party.

Mr. Simmons may never be forgiven for his portrayal of Great Britain in ‘Archie’s World Tour’ (at least, not if I have any say in the matter…) but he’s achieved something remarkable here. He’s actually made me like Sarah Palin.

Not the real-life Mrs. Turniphead McMadbastard, of course, but the version that appears in this much-publicised two-parter.

The plot: Archie & Reggie are vying for class president. Veronica takes it upon herself to manage Archie’s campaign, and, using her society contacts, engineers an innocent ‘meet & greet’ photo op to make it appear as if President Obama is endorsing Archie. Not to be outdone, Reggie’s manager stages a similarly misleading photo with Sarah Palin.

On discovering the deception, both politicos, clearly having nothing more important to do (probably true in Palin’s case, but I digress) descend upon Riverdale to set the record straight.

Writer Simmons handles the two opposing politicians with admirable even-handedness and impartiality, the only indication of any bias being the violation of the Cooper-Lodge Paradigm.

What’s that, I hear you say? Why, it’s one of the fundamental principles of the Archieverse. The two leading ladies, sweet-but-feisty Betty Cooper and spoilt-but-goodhearted Veronica Lodge, are always either united or at polar opposites in any given situation; for dramatic purposes, no middle ground is permitted.

So, by the logical application of the Cooper-Lodge Paradigm, if Veronica’s managing the Archie/Obama ticket, Betty should be managing Reggie/Palin, right?

Wrong. And that’s the giveaway. Someone, either the writer or the editors, could not, could not, allow compassionate Betty Cooper to endorse the Republicans. So third-tier manipulator Trula Twyst is suddenly catapulted to a leading role as Reggie’s campaign manager, reducing Betty, one of the Archieverse’s ‘Big Five’, to a bit player in one of the highest profile, most widely-read Archie storylines of recent years.

If the ‘guilty’ party is Mr. Simmons, then it must be stated that he’s bent over backward to be fair to both sides otherwise: Obama and Palin are both portrayed as likeable and engaging characters, with one comedic flaw (Obama’s running-on windbaggery, Palin’s impatience) not detracting from the essential likeability Simmons infuses into both. If these personalities had been introduced in a different context – as new faculty members at Riverdale High, for instance – we would have been interested in seeing them again.

It’s a tricky task, involving highly-prominent political figures and not giving cause for indignation to either side of the political fence, but one that Simmons – despite his previous sins – handles with dexterity and panache.

(PS: Mr. Simmons… shillings and halfpennies? Really? Over here in London, we only stopped using them more than FORTY BLEEDIN’ YEARS ago! Go to a library and LOOK THINGS UP! What? No, Martin, I’m NOT going to ‘Let it go’…)

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7 responses to “Archie 616 & 617”

  1. Martin Skidmore says:

    I’m not a regular Archie reader, but I’d have thought Veronica supporting the Republican ticket and Betty the Democrats might have been the more natural setup for this.

  2. Will Morgan says:

    @ Martin; You’re quite right, but rich socialite Veronica has much more plausible access to the famous & powerful than poor & plucky Betty Cooper, and as the Prez, Obama’s more rich & powerful (therefore a bigger endorsement catch) for her beloved Archie than Palin, who, after all, isn’t even the leader of the Opposition, despite her media prominence. Obama’s actual opposite number is… er… let me get back to you on that.

    • Martin Skidmore says:

      Yes, but having Betty sign on with Archie, so Veronica takes the opposition position would be a feasible story; Veronica gets in Palin (easily as plausible as getting Obama), and somehow Betty and Archie get Obama (takes some creative writing, but why not?). It sounds writeable to me, and keeps the focus on the major Archie players.

  3. Will Morgan says:

    Oh, you’re right, it could have easily been set up so Betty led with Obama, but Ronnie would never settle for getting the lesser prize for her candidate; it’s far more ‘her’ to go for the Prez, which would have meant her trying to take Obama away from Archie and ‘give’ him to Reggie, taking the story in a different (but no less entertaining) direction, and…
    (I know (rolls eyes) I overthink these things, but I’m a Legion fan, obsessing over minutiae comes with the job…)

  4. Mike Teague says:

    Having read the review, I am tempted to look out for these issues, never having read any Archie comics before – or wanted to*.

    * I am typing this in my bunker, anticipating the furious comments from Will as soon as I hit the Post button.

  5. Will Morgan says:

    Well, young Michael, should you relent, you’ll know which emporium of gaudy iconography to come to for a well-stocked Archie range and a stroppy and opinionated – er, knowledgable and informative – counterperson.

    • Mike Teague says:

      Whilst you weren’t there on the day Will, I did pick these two issues up at 30thC a few weeks ago.
      Having read them, I have to say that I was entertained by them, but not enough for me to want to read more. However I do applaud the sheer madness of the plot which almost makes 70’s Gerber seem mainstream by comparison.
      I do not regret my purchases.

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